A mother who refuses to let go will never raise a good child.

in the program "Sister through the Wind and waves", the innumerable "overbearing female President" is quiet and 2.8 meters all the time, which can be called the eldest sister walking.

48-year-old serenity, there is always a deja vu temperament when combing the head of a magic pill.

maybe many people don't realize that she is actually the mother of a 22-year-old boy.

in 1996, Ning fell in love with American actor Paul Cain while filming Red River Valley, and soon had a son.

soon after marriage, the two divorced because of cultural differences.

after the divorce, Ning took her son back to China to take care of the children while filming.

usually he is very protective of his son, seldom on the premise of the media and his serenity. Once on a Venus program, he rarely talked about his view of parenting.

Venus asks serenity:

serenity answer:

Venus asks again:

serenity says:

"if I really see it, I think it is inappropriate. I may make some reminders."

but I don't think we should stop him directly, because children grow up in stumbles. "

Jingjing also expressed her understanding of the "no matter" child in the program:

"I don't think it should be to stop the child from doing anything directly.

then this "fire pit" is such a thing that if you don't let him jump, he will have to jump next time. "

at this age, I regard my son as a friend and will not interfere too much in his life, but give some advice.

Professor Li Meijin once mentioned in the program "Roundtable School":

"some parents don't care when they should, but start to do it when they shouldn't.

Life is the child's own, and parents should give guidance, not make decisions for their children. "

from a quiet point of view, "regardless of children" does not mean that they do not love children.

on the contrary, it is precisely because you love your child that you should dare to let go and let your child grow up through trial and error, so that you will have the ability to be independent.

I think deeply that on the road of education, mothers who are really far-sighted know how to let go.

01

the mother dares to let go, and the child dares to try and make mistakes

A few days ago, a message from the mother to the child went viral:

Chinese: if you can't, look it up in the dictionary, don't yell "Mom"! Math: check it yourself when you're done, don't yell "Mom"! English: use youdao for new words, don't yell "Mom"!

in short, if you encounter difficulties, solve them by yourself first, and don't always want to shout "Mom"!

this manifesto, netizens applauded one after another, praising the mother's "letting go education" is too powerful!

but too many parents always want to take care of their children's life.

once upon a time, Yi Nengjing, like many parents, tried to use her own experience to influence his son's preferences and choices, and even his future development. In a program, Yi Nengjing revealed that she had had a big fight with her son.

at that time, her son Harry wanted to learn editing, but she thought it would be better for him to study screenwriting.

after the quarrel, the son exclaimed:

Glamorous and trendy, two tone bridesmaid dresses are defnitely a must-have. There is no better place to buy the perfect dress from than Adoringdress.com.

Yi Nengjing was silent for a long time after hearing her son's words. Realizing that the child had to go her own way after all, she chose to respect and support her son and let her son pursue his dream.

for parents, instead of always worrying that their children will take detours, they should give their children enough trust and let go boldly so that they can learn to grow up through trial and error.

parents cannot grow up instead of their child, let alone to clear all the obstacles for him.

the growth of children is spiral. while helping children to maintain the bottom line of morality and safety, let children learn from trial and error, so that children can walk more steadily when they face the wind and rain alone in the future.

02

the mother is "cruel" to let go, the child is more independent

the beloved son of the parents is far-reaching.

recently, a mother in Tianjin uploaded a video teaching her 5-year-old son to travel alone, which made many netizens cry.

her son can't see anything because of visual impairment.

in order for her son to walk alone in the world one day, she slowly taught her son how to walk the blind path, and if he couldn't feel it, he had to squat down and touch it.

some netizens commented that they felt heartbreaking pain when they saw the child squatting down and touching the ground with his hands.

I think that at that moment, her mother's heart may be more painful and reluctant to give up!

however, as netizens say, "you have to go your own way".

Mom's crutch can't be with him all his life.

Today, let my son take one more step and fall one more step, just so that one day, when the mother can't be around, the child can go farther and more smoothly.

far-sighted parents all bring a little bit of "ruthlessness". Behind letting go is deep love.

We can't take care of our children all our lives. We always have to work hard to make them have the ability to survive independently.

on the contrary, "soft-hearted" parents, who do everything for their children, are likely to develop their children into "giant babies" step by step.

once upon a time, there was a 16-year-old girl in Metamorphosis who was "raised" by her parents so that she could not take care of herself.

when she is at home, her aunt cuts her nails, her mother dresses her, and even asks her mother to feed her for dinner.

what's incomprehensible is that parents don't think there's anything wrong. They think that children just need to study hard and don't care about anything else.

parents who like to take care of everything say it is good for their children, butIt could ruin a child's life.

every step we take for our children may turn into a pit in the end.

03

if the mother doesn't let go, the child will never grow up

Bacon once said:

A child's sense of responsibility is accumulated in the little things in daily life.

if parents are accustomed to "taking care of the aftermath" of their children, their children's sense of responsibility is out of the question.

there was a 30-year-old guy who, after a rear-end collision on the road, was not thinking about how to handle it, but called his mother.

A 30-year-old boy "looks for his mother" when he has problems. You can see in the small details what kind of education his parents have given him.

Heim G Ginot mentioned in the book "Child, give me your hand"

Let the child learn to take responsibility for his own life as soon as possible, improve the child's sense of responsibility, so that the child can better gain a foothold in society in the future.

04

learn to let go, and to be a high-ranking mother

"letting go" does not mean letting go or even unconditionally indulging. According to the characteristics of each child, it is necessary to "let go" and "do not let go" in order to help the child go further:

appropriate "show weakness" and give the child a chance to exercise independently

sometimes, a mother's appropriate "show weakness" is actually an opportunity for her child to exercise. In an episode of "Mom is Superman," Hu Ke called Angie and Xiaoyuer to him and said earnestly to the brothers:

when Angie heard this, he took the initiative to take care of his younger brother and buy food, and also took his younger brother to do housework. Like a responsible little man. Hu Ke said:

mothers appropriately "show weakness" in front of their children, which will make their children feel needed. Not only cultivate the child's sense of responsibility, the child can also personally experience the mother's hard work in the process of dealing with things, and know more about independence and gratitude.

to build a "bracket" for the child, the mother should "let go" in stages

the mother should "let go". It is not to let go completely regardless of the situation, but to lay a solid foundation for the child in the early stage, hold the line, and let go by stages. Psychologist David Wood said:

he put forward the idea of "scaffolding", which means that the process of parents raising their children is to build and remove "stents" for them, and divide the process into three steps:

I do (I do you see);

We do (we do it together);

You do (you do it and I see it).

this corresponds to the development process of the child's personal ability:

when the child's ability is insufficient, the mother demonstrates to the child;

in the process of growing up, the mother builds scaffolding for the child. Play a guiding role for the child;

wait until the child has a firm foothold, and then slowly remove the "bracket" and let the child walk on his own.

discipline within the rules, let go outside the rules, give sufficient sense of security, and guide and protect the child in a timely manner at critical moments, so as to ensure that in the process of removing the "bracket", the collapse will not occur.

adjust your state of mind and give your child recognition and encouragement at the first time

letting go of education will not have immediate results, it will take time.

Mom needs to adjust her state of mind and know our patience, acceptance, and encouragement in order to make letting go education continue.

give the child recognition and encouragement at the first time. When the child's confidence is encouraged, it will become better and better on the road to independence.