Angry, you can see a person most clearly.

living in this world--

who has not been popular?

who has not been vilified?

who hasn't been splashed with dirty water?

it's just that some people are furious when they are angry, and others are calm when they are angry.

I have experienced so much that I believe the saying:

what a person looks like when he is angry often hides his true character and demeanor.

01

anger shows character, anger shows bearing

Ji Xianlin, a master of Sinology, once had such an experience.

one day, when he and his old friend Zang Kejia went to a restaurant for dinner, there happened to be a woman with children at the next table.

in the middle of eating, the woman put the child on the stool and went to the bathroom by herself.

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as a result, the child accidentally fell off the stool and burst into tears.

Ji Xianlin met and hurriedly went to help the child.

hearing the baby crying, the woman rushed out of the toilet and cursed Ji Xianlin:

Ji Xianlin said nothing and returned to her seat to continue eating.

it is true that the customers around him can not bear to watch, and have to fight for his grievances:

the woman blushed and left in a hurry.

afterwards, Zang Kejia asked Ji Xianlin:

Ji Xianlin shook his head and smiled:

"once there is a quarrel, the scene will be very ugly. Besides, other people are eager to love their son. I should be more considerate."

be vilified and know how to give dignity.

be able to think of others while being angry.

to be honest, I really admire such people.

as they say:

those who are still cultured when they are angry will certainly not be too bad.

they can tolerate the faults of others, control their emotions, never resort to violence, let alone pain, which is a person's most precious quality.

because the canthus must be deeper than only resentment, and revenge is bound to be hard to escape.

take my grandma.

when my grandmother was young, she was harassed by a colleague, and then the two had a bad relationship.

decades later, my grandmother still holds a grudge and her family feels helpless.

it's like my grandfather said--

you think that person is always haggling, so you cling to it.

you think that person likes to throw a stone into a well, and you make a mockery when you seize the opportunity.

you think that person has a small belly all the time, so you are not nice to others.

but looking back many years later, I found that I didn't know when I had become the person I hated most.

Why bother?

there is a saying:

the most rare word in one's life is transparency.

think through the big things into small things, and let go of the small things, so that nothing can be taken lightly.

Don't believe that most of the time, to let others go is to let yourself go.

02

those who smile and bow their heads are actually smart people who are quick to speak for a moment, and may not necessarily have the upper hand.

if you fight for a moment, you may not win all.

those who smile and bow their heads are actually smart people.

actor Zhang Guoli is such a smart man.

at that time, before he became popular, he went to a small mountain village to shoot a night show with the crew of Kangxi's personal visit.

the crew has too many mouths, the lights are bright, the microphones are noisy, and the villagers are annoyed, so they unite in small groups to boycott the crew's entry into the village to film, have a tough attitude, and resist communication.

the crew became bossy when they failed to negotiate several times.

both sides were emotional, and seeing that the scene would soon get out of control, Zhang Guoli suddenly stood up, went to the group of villagers, fell to his knees with a plop, and said sincerely, "folks, I'm really sorry to bother you!" But our play will be finished soon, so please be tolerant and understand! "

when he knelt, the villagers looked at each other and dispersed one after another.

it can be said that without Zhang Guoli's actions--

there would have been no smooth shooting and publication of "Kangxi's personal visit";

because it was by playing the role of Emperor Kangxi in the play that Zhang Guo won the Best Actor Award at the Golden Eagle Festival, and it has been popular all over the country ever since.

think of the sentence:

mature wheat will bow its head.

in fact, it's the same as being a human being.

bowing your head does not mean cowardice, and admitting weakness does not mean admitting defeat.

in many cases, the more you can advance and retreat, the more you can bend and stretch, the more you can open up mountains and build bridges in the face of water.

moderate bow can not only reduce the existing damage, but also bring unexpected gains.

on the contrary, if we focus on other people's mistakes and care about temporary gains and losses, we will lose more.

the experience of Fang Xiaoru, the minister of the Ming Dynasty, is a naked example.

at that time, after Chengzu of the Ming Dynasty attacked the city and entered Beijing, the civil and military officials succumbed one by one, but Fang Xiaoru refused to surrender.

Ming Chengzu valued his ability and did not kill him, but made him take the throne.

however, Fang Xiaoru threw his pen to the ground and vowed not to obey to the death.

Ming Chengzu was very angry and asked him, "aren't you afraid that I will kill you?"

when Fang Xiaoru heard this, the style of the literati became even more arrogant, and he was not afraid to respond to death: "I am not afraid to kill my ten ethnic groups!"

Ming Chengzu, in a fit of anger, really ordered that Fang Xiaoru, together with his ten ethnic groups, be killed, a total of 873 people.

textHuman character is understandable.

but aren't 873 lives regrettable?

for Fang Xiaoru, he kept the solar terms and insulted the new emperor, but he lost his own life and affected the fate of others.

if you take a step back on that day, it may not end like this. Bear with it for a while, and the disaster may not happen.

as the saying goes:

those who achieve great things are often able to tolerate what others do not allow, and those who do great things often put up with them.

03

first learn not to be angry, and then learn to be angry

the existence of some people is to add traffic to you.

but they should not go into your heart, let alone be qualified to enter your heart.

you have to know that many people's past is full of unbearable-

Li Zongsheng had to work in the Gas Bank before he became famous. at that time, everyone looked down on him and thought he was "ugly" and had not studied any books. It is simply beyond self-control to want to get ahead.

Yue Yunpeng once ran errands in a restaurant before he became famous. At that time, he was abused for three hours because of his mistake in giving a guest two more bottles of beer.

before Chow Yun-fat became famous, he was reduced to working in a car wash. At that time, a guest came to wash his car in a Rolls-Royce. When he saw a luxury car for the first time, he couldn't help but touch it. As a result, he was loudly reprimanded by the guest: "you can't afford this kind of car for the rest of your life!"

see, people have to go through many humiliations before they can give themselves a long face.

there is a saying:

learn not to be angry first, and then learn to be angry.

in this utilitarian and real world, this is the principle that each of us should follow silently. Even people who are good are no exception.

Li Zongsheng did it.

Yue Yunpeng did

Zhou Yun-fat did it.

there is another person who has done it, he is Huang Bo!

as we all know, Huang Bo has been a walk-on in various films and was even ridiculed by an associate director of the crew: "how can you be on camera with your appearance? you deserve to be an actor?"

Yes, he has been ridiculed, humiliated and despised.

but that's all in the past.

his achievements this year are obvious to all.

from the Golden Horse Actor to the 10 billion box office actor, this is followed by his words on moments--

"in the past, you could meet all kinds of people and be careful."

now there are smiling faces all around you. Are you tired, Mr. Huang? have a rest. What do you eat and drink, Mr. Huang? I'll get you something. "

I think the translation of this passage is probably--

when you are incompetent, the whole world looks down on you.

when you have the ability, the whole world will respect you.

is very heart-wrenching, but also very real.

as the saying goes:

losers always have many excuses, but winners only speak with facts.

most of the time, a person's maturity is not shown in how much he has achieved, but in his ability to face people and things he hates without disturbing his heart and not being trapped in love.

always remember that the cruel reality is not terrible, the extreme mentality is terrible.

if nothing happens, it is the greatest revenge.

04

angry, you can best see a person

as the saying goes:

the wise man is good at condescending, and the fool stretches his head.

A truly wise person, when angry-

has the mercy of forgiving others.

and have the patience to bow at the right time.

has the strength to rise abruptly based on accumulated strength.

as Hanshan asked in the past: "what should we do if some people in the world slander me, deceive me, humiliate me, laugh at me, despise me, base me, hate me and deceive me?"

pick up and say, "just put up with him, let him, let him, avoid him, tolerate him, respect him, ignore him, stay a few more years, and look at him."