Being able to talk is smart, and being able to shut up is self-cultivation.

I have seen such a sentence in a book:

"to be able to talk is wisdom, and to shut up is self-cultivation."

A person learns to speak for two years and to shut up for the rest of his life.

learning to speak well is a lifetime of spiritual practice, while keeping your mouth shut is the best feng shui in your life.

01

it is wise to speak

there is a saying in Cai Gentan: "Nine of ten languages may not be called strange, but if one word is not right, the trespass is especially parallel."

being kind to others is warmer than cloth; hurting people with words is deeper than spear.

so most of the time, some people win as soon as they open their mouth, while others lose as soon as they open their mouth.

A few days ago, I met a lot of good friends I hadn't seen for a long time. We ate pleasantries, talked about interesting things at school, and talked about the hardships after graduation.

unexpectedly, the words of Wu Xing, a classmate, finally made everyone break up in discord.

at that time, she pestered a newly divorced female classmate and asked

"so you are almost 40 years old, why do you want a divorce?"

"I'm telling you, it's hard for divorced women to marry, especially if you carry an oil bottle."

as soon as this remark came out, the female classmate's face changed instantly. We also kept winking at Wu Xiang, hinting her to stop talking.

at the end of the result, she also said: "I am a person, knife mouth, tofu heart, if anything makes you uncomfortable, you do not mind!"

the female classmate was so angry that she dropped the sentence "you are not a knife mouth, you are bad!" And then left with "there are children to take care of at home".

and the originally lively party was instantly dull because of this episode.

Zhu Ziqing once wrote in his prose "speaking":

"speaking is not an easy task."

if you talk every day, you don't necessarily know how to speak; many people talk all their lives and don't say a few words. "

it is a kind of happiness to be with people who can talk.

and learning to be a good talker is a compulsory course in one's life.

the imperial concubine in Nirvana in Fire is a smart person who can talk.

once, after the queen's embarrassment was known by the emperor, the emperor asked her, "I heard that the queen humiliated you in public."

Princess Jingfei smiled and said, "who chewed the tongue? the queen just spoke bluntly. As a sister, I really can't care about it."

as soon as this remark came out, the emperor was not only disgusted with the queen's unreasonable trouble, but also more grateful for her reasonableness.

the more you grow up, the more you find that compared to good looks and outstanding talent, being able to talk is the most attractive thing for a person.

people, to be able to speak is an instinct, and to be able to speak is an ability.

and smart people all know how to speak well.

02

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being able to shut up is self-cultivation

"the combination of maxims" has a saying: "to cultivate oneself is to clear your heart, and to be cautious in dealing with the world."

there is a word called "disaster comes out of the mouth", especially in the adult world.

some time ago, Sister Zhang, a neighbor, suddenly posted a circle of friends:

"talking too much is a blessing. For the rest of your life, you must learn to shut up! "

I asked her what was wrong.

she told me that she was in trouble because she was talkative.

hearing this, I understood a little in an instant.

Sister Zhang is a famous "big mouth" in the community: parents in the East, short families in the West, private things in the North and people close to the South can all be heard from her.

it's not that she hasn't caused trouble for talking too much, but she just can't keep her mouth shut.

I just don't know, what happened to her big mouth this time?

"some time ago, I happened to be there when my nephew and his wife quarreled. At that time, his wife was crying and screaming, so I said something wrong with my nephew's wife. As a result, his wife went back to her mother's house without saying a word. "

"later, I learned that they quarreled that day because their nephew lost money in gambling."

"now, my niece complains that I don't know the difference between right and wrong, and my nephew blames me for being talkative. I'm not flattering at both ends, and I'm not a person inside and outside!"

finally she smiled bitterly and said to me, "in my life, when it's time to shut up, you have to shut up."

Yes, in life, it is self-cultivation to shut up.

those who are really smart know how to keep their mouths shut.

as the Bible Proverbs says:

"it is inevitable to talk too much, and it is wise to forbid lips."

I have seen such a Jewish fable in a book:

A businessman said to his servant, "go and buy back the most expensive thing in the market."

after a while, the servant came back and bought the tongue.

A few days later, the merchant said to the servant, "go and buy the cheapest thing on the market."

unexpectedly, the servant bought his tongue back this time.

the businessman was puzzled and asked, "the other day I asked you to buy the most expensive thing, but you bought your tongue back." Today I want you to buy the cheapest thing, and you buy your tongue back. What is the reason for this? "

the servant replied, "the tongue is valuable for good, but worthless for bad."

in the Book of morality, it is said: "it is better to keep the middle than to speak too much and be poor."

if you talk too much, you will lose, and if you talk too much, you will lose.

the best feng shui in a person is to shut up.

03

wise man, speak well; wise man, know how to shut up

what is a mouth?

some people say that the mouth is a ruler, and you can know the level of EQ as soon as you measure it;

others say that the mouth is a calibrator, and you can know the depth of self-cultivation as soon as you measure it.

I don't know what a mouth is, but after I stumble all the way, suffer from being unable to speak, and feel the pain of not knowing how to shut up, I am sure: a wise man speaks well; a wise man knows how to shut up.

how many people, because they speak well, have become wise men in life--

facing "I already have two children, Jia Ling, and you?" When Jia Ling cleverly replied, "if you have two children, then give me one", which made netizens applaud.

Huang Bo, who was praised as "too interesting to look at his face," defused the reporter "can you replace Ge You?" with just one sentence, "this era will not stop you from shining, but you can't cover the glory of others."

when Wang Han was asked, "you and he Jing, who is the first brother of Hunan TV?" When he was in no hurry, he gave a textbook-style standard answer: "of course, teacher he is the first elder brother, and I am his eldest brother."

how many people, because they know how to shut up, have become sages in life--

Zeng Guofan never forgot to "abstain from talking too much" throughout his life;

Zhu Bolu wrote "if you talk too much, you lose" in Zhu Zi's Family motto;

Master Hong Yi insists that "careful speech comes first".