Don't argue, don't compare, don't ask (depth is good)

with the growth of age, the more things I experience, the more I like this poem in Little window:

when I was young, everyone was full of blood and wanted to achieve something hegemonic day and night.

after a thousand sails have passed, I found that a truly successful life never requires you to try your best to fight for it.

No surprise, no intention to leave or stay, look down on the world, not to be tired, life can be more and more satisfactory.

01

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people do not fight, but people who are light

have a lot of troubles from quarrels, lose, get angry, and even if they win, it is still hard to make peace.

it is better to see through and know with a smile, not only to avoid hurting the good will, but also to be at ease.

I once read a short story full of Zen:

there was a young man with no great ability but not a small temper.

he doesn't like what other people do, he doesn't listen to other people's suggestions, and he always likes to question other people's opinions.

therefore, he often conflicts with people. Gradually, he finds life very boring and thinks that the people around him are deliberately against him.

so he went to consult a wise man and asked:

the wise man replied:

the young man retorted:

the wise man smiled and said:

then he bowed his head slightly and ignored the young man.

fools fight for right and wrong, but only wise men talk about day and night.

some people like to argue about everything and often blush, or many and half win the battle over "things" and "reason", but lose the hearts of the people.

most of the time, we always think that right and wrong is very important, and we can't get by without arguing about it.

in fact, it's not something that makes you uncomfortable, it's your inner obsession.

people who are really smart never compete and disdain to argue with others. The writer Zhou Guoping once said:

everything is competitive, in the eyes of outsiders, it is impersonal, and he is deeply entangled inside.

Justice is in the hearts of the people, and time is the best witness, even if you sometimes suffer a little grievance, others will see clearly over time.

the ancients said: for those who are competitive, heaven will compete with them; for those who are modest, heaven will give way to them.

sometimes, it is a wise choice to make concessions in order to go further and make concessions at the right time.

02

Bon voyage

in the primeval forests of South America, there once lived a bird that was green all over and was named Kingfisher.

their nests are notoriously "huge", one by one on the trees, the scene is very spectacular.

people are very puzzled as to why a bird whose body length is no more than 6 centimeters should build a nest several times or even dozens of times larger than its body.

A zoologist did an experiment: catch a kingfisher and watch it build its nest.

strangely, it only built a nest the size of its own body and then stopped working.

the zoologist caught another one and locked it in a huge cage with the original one.

this newcomer, Tripterygium, keeps building its nest, while the original one, like a full motor, tries its best to build it again.

the nest is getting bigger and bigger, and the two birds compete with each other, and there is no intention to stop at all.

A few days later, the birds were exhausted and the speed of building nests was noticeably slower.

A few days later, two birds died of exhaustion in the process of building their nests.

the zoologist caught two more kingfisher, and the situation was the same. Without exception, the birds were all exhausted.

the scholar suddenly realized that the reason why the Tripterygium was so busy was to keep up with the comparison.

in fact, this is not the case in the world.

for the sake of face, but also for the so-called "fight for breath", I keep running around until I lose my health and everything I should have.

as the saying goes: people compare people to death, goods have to be thrown away;

some people do not work as well as you, some people earn less than you, you secretly rejoice, defiant;

some people work better than you, some people earn more than you, you resent and resent others;

always worry about gains and losses in comparison, panic all day long, and give up self-growth, and finally slide to the bottom of life step by step.

Zhou Guoping said:

mature and wise people never compare with others and do not look for a sense of achievement in their advantages, but pay more attention to inner cultivation.

No comparison, it reflects the big pattern of a person, and shows a style of doing things that is not happy with things and not sad with oneself.

the pattern determines the end. the bigger the pattern, the smoother life will be, and the ending of everything will be more satisfactory.

03

the heart does not ask, the whole life is quiet

very much like Lin Qingxuan's words:

looking at a mountain high, seeking is not the normal state of life.

if you have no desire, the world will be simple.

Tagore wrote in a poem "delusions":

this bank of the river sighs to himself: "I believe that all joy is on the other side."

the other side of the river sighed, "well, maybe happiness is on the other side."

people are always tirelessly pursuing the so-called happiness, but it is often difficult to be satisfied.

just like a mountain looking at a mountain high, it can never reach the height of the heart's desire.

once you go back to the foot of the mountain and look back on all the things that have been burdened by fame and wealth in the past, you will have a deep feeling of "the height is unbearably cold."

when Su Shi was demoted to Huangzhou to drown his sorrows, he accidentally bumped into a big man.

the big man punched him to the ground and scolded, "what are you?"Don't you dare hit me! "

Su Shi fell to the ground, burst out laughing and wrote to his friend: "self-delight is gradually unknown."

when Su Shi no longer pursues the halo of talent and fades out of people's field of vision, he shows his most authentic color.

when a thousand sails are over, it is a good time to know that there is no desire, no fame and wealth.

all people need is to eat three meals a day and sleep at night. Apart from that, the more they add, the more tired they will be.

the gully of desire is difficult to fill, and the most effective way to achieve satisfaction is to reduce desire.

as Feng Zikai said:

the amount of wealth has nothing to do with the amount of wealth, but only with the inner feelings.

inaction means action, action and inaction.

be a man and do things, but you should have no regrets and be bearish on your gains and losses.

what you really have is not clasping your hands, but the moment you let go.

if you do not pursue fame or profit, you will get a quiet and comfortable life; if you do not ask for extravagance or request, your life will be simple, happy and complacent.

04

Happiness is not on the other side.

Xunzi said:

if the heart changes with things, people will suffer and lose themselves.

Life has its ups and downs, and no one can predict where the boat of fate will float in the next moment.

A truly wise person knows how to persist in time, so that the leaf boat can move forward easily and enjoy the scenery all the way.

if you don't argue with people and things, you won't have unnecessary troubles, won't win face, and lose Li Zi.

if you do not compare with others, you will not be often wrapped up in frustration and spend your whole life in the pursuit of vanity.

conform to the nature, do not demand, do not ask extravagantly, hold my luck, lose my life state of mind to look down on prosperity.

when the mindset is correct, fate will naturally go smoothly. The less you want, the more you can really have. Life is long, don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Happiness is not on the other side, it is in front of us.