Don't curry favor with someone who doesn't have you in his heart.

in this life, people will meet all kinds of people.

everyone wants to be recognized and liked, trying to please, even if they don't like it.

do not realize that no matter how good the relationship is, it will not last long, and the relationship that is forced will never be intimate.

because feelings are like this, you can't insist on them, and you can't cling to them.

instead of trying to please others, learn to please yourself.

as Bi Shumin said, "our lives do not exist because we are liked by others."

those who don't have you in their hearts, don't bother to please; those who don't care about you, don't ask for it.

01

people who are not worth pleasing, forget it

once heard a saying:

"Life is so short, why let people who don't care about you influence their mood;

people are so precious, why let people who don't know how to cherish consume feelings."

when we are alive, we will meet many people, some of whom let us grow up, while others can only embarrass ourselves constantly.

not until reality wakes us up, do we realize that not everyone is worth pleasing and that not everything is worth making ourselves sad.

for those who are not worth pleasing, the best thing to do is not to impose retention, but to forget it.

Su Qing, a talented female writer of the Republic of China, once experienced a failed marriage.

she obeyed her parents' arrangement, started a family early, took care of the family, got pregnant and had children, and gave up her college studies.

Su Qing, who was married, waited on her parents-in-law, cleaned the housework, married for five years and gave birth to four children.

not only is the husband not considerate of Su Qing's hard work, but he is often a little unhappy, so he is often beaten and scolded, and his mother-in-law is often cynical.

in such a situation, it was not until the mistress was pregnant that her husband's slap completely woke her up.

Su Qing used ten years of marriage to recognize the reality.

know that no matter how much you please, you can't get the true opposition of your husband.

after the divorce, Su Qing returned to writing and finally became famous in the first World War of "Ten years of Marriage" and became a hot writer in the literary world in Shanghai.

if you please others all the time, you will only drag yourself down. Enough is the best way to protect yourself.

as the writer Li Bihua said:

because in this life, people should love themselves most and please themselves the most.

02

the more they please others, the more they don't care about the relationship between host Zhu Dan and her husband on Monday.

most netizens think that Zhu Dan is so flattering in her relationship that she makes people around her get used to it and doesn't care about her at all.

A relationship in which you despise yourself in order to please others, hide your emotions, restrain your feelings, be afraid of conflict with each other, and let others' demands go unchecked.

little do you realize that your flattery and obedience are seen by others, but never in your heart.

the more you please, the more you can only be looked down upon by the other party.

in the TV series Ode to Joy, Qiu Yingying fell in love with the white director of the same company.

she devoted all her efforts to the white director, only to be betrayed in the end.

Director Bai asked her out for dinner, and she made up happily.

she is always worried about gain and loss, so she tries to please, but she still fails to make it to the end with Director Bai.

when she learned of Director Bai's betrayal, Qiu Yingying's world collapsed.

in the emotional world, no matter how much you like someone, don't please too much; if you love someone again, don't lose yourself.

because of wishful thinking, you can only make yourself sad after all.

just like the sentence on the Internet:

03

blindly flattering, you will only hurt yourself

Xi Murong said:

when I was in the middle, I suddenly realized that I only had a vague face and a road that could not be turned back. "

in real life, there are too many people who live like others in order to please.

for the sake of a little bit of concern from others, keep lowering your posture and showing a humble side.

but such a result, even if it is obtained, is nothing but charity, not love.

singer Cai Qin and her husband Yang Dechang tied the knot because of the movie "childhood sweetheart". From then on, Cai Qin can be seen in every work of Yang Dechang.

act as an artist, guest star, and sing songs. Cai Qin did his best for her husband, but Yang Dechang was ungrateful. He even used "a blank" to describe the feelings of the past ten years when he got divorced.

but even so, Cai Qin gently replied, "I don't think it's a blank. I have all I give."

A short span of 17 words tells her all her flattery and devotion in this relationship.

give your heart to someone who doesn't love you at all, and in the end, you can only let yourself get hurt.

there is a saying on the Internet that I quite agree:

the more feelings you need to please, the more fragile you are.

because no matter how much you give, the other person will only be indifferent;

because no matter how much you please, you can only move yourself, and you can only hurt yourself.

04

feelings always exchange hearts for hearts.

there is a topic on Zhihu: "what is the best relationship between people?"

the answer of one of them makes people deeply agree:

indeed, in a relationship, going to a single event is a chase, and going in both directions is happiness.

A good relationship is never one.Fang's wishful thinking, but mutual affection for each other.

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there is a sentence to explain the feelings in Rose Island, which fits very well:

it is Wu Guanzhong, the master of painting and painting, and his wife.

Wu Guanzhong and his wife have been hand in hand for decades, and they are a famous couple in the art world.

when she was young, his wife sold the dowry given to her by her mother in order to realize Wu Guanzhong's dream of painting.

years later, my wife suffered from Alzheimer's disease, sometimes awake and sometimes confused, always worried about leaving the gas on, and went back and forth to turn on the gas in the kitchen.

Wu Guanzhong is right behind his wife, turning on and off once, never bored.

he has expressed his gratitude to his wife many times:

I hope my wife will walk in front of me in a hundred years' time, so that she can stay with her forever. "

unilateral flattery is no match for two people's appreciation of each other.

in life, any relationship worth cherishing must be a change of heart.

support each other and be close to each other; trust each other and be calm with each other.

because of true feelings, love is never used as an excuse, and true love never ends in flattery.

only when we are sincere with each other can we grow old hand in hand.

05

sincerely, leave it to the worthy

once heard such a sentence:

but you forget that people who really like you will like all the way you look. "

this is the way feelings are. When you meet someone worthy of love, you will understand that even if you have many imperfections, it is still a unique existence in the other person's heart.

No need to be deliberate, comfortable and comfortable, this is the true relationship.

Xu Zhimo's ex-wife Zhang Youyi chose to divorce him and Lin Huiyin at the age of 22.

then a person took the child to Germany, working and going to school at the same time.

if Zhang Youyi, who left Xu Zhimo, was compromising, then Zhang Youyi, who left him, lived another wonderful life.

at the age of 54, Zhang Youyi met Su Jizhi, who lives upstairs.

the two are familiar with each other and get married.

after marriage, they love each other, understand and help each other.

Zhang Youyi supported Su Jizhi's medical research and handled all the trivialities at home. Su Jizhi also understood Zhang Youyi's regrets and accompanied his wife to revisit the old place and untie the knot.

Zhang Youyi said:

Yes, without Xu Zhimo's departure, there would be no strong woman Zhang Youyi, no happy Zhang Youyi, no admirable Zhang Youyi.

writer Yi Shu once said:

the rest of my life is not long, so you must be with comfortable people. "

the rest of your life is long. Leave your heart to those who understand you and your feelings to those who love you.

only in front of those who know you, can you feel free; only in front of those who love you can you feel happy.

people who really love you, understand your difficulties, understand your efforts, tolerate your small temper, and give you enough peace of mind.

We often say, "if you try harder, you will always succeed."

but there is a lot of helplessness in life, and feelings are not right or wrong.

Don't try to please others, because what you get is not necessarily right, because real feelings don't need to be flattered.

only by learning to love yourself first will others love you; only by pleasing yourself can you live a comfortable life.

as Mr. Yang Jiang said, "the world is your own and has nothing to do with others."

on the way of life, stop pleasing others, seriously live your own life, and love yourself well in order to live your true self.