How can we educate a confident child? 18 little things to help you (parents must read)
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
"when he bought new clothes, he was ashamed to wear them to school, but he chose the clothes himself; when he met a classmate in the mall, he directly hid in the toilet and was embarrassed to say hello;
when he went out to play, he always looked at others, and he dared not let himself go to play; when he saw strangers, he refused to say hello, and then sulked; never raised his hand at school, and the teacher said he was small and transparent in the class."
can I change a child who is so self-abased? What should I do?
when he was young, I found that my child could not be generous in public and was always a little coy.
I didn't criticize him either. I even encouraged him to be bold and be a little man. sometimes although he tries to pretend to be bold, he fails in a minute or two.
I hate iron but not steel, and I really don't know how to change my child's character. I'm really worried that if he goes on like this, he won't make friends at school, and he's easy to be excluded and bullied by others. Ask Uncle Fan to give me some advice.
this is a father's help, anxiety and worry, both parents can understand.
We all want our children to be confident and generous, because in our view, confident children are more sociable, more liked, more resilient, and have a better chance of turning around.
is there any way to quickly increase your child's self-confidence? The answer is: there are no shortcuts.
A child's self-confidence cannot be developed overnight.
but in the process of children's growth, the positive interaction between parents and children is the key to determining children's self-confidence.
if you are facing such a problem, or if you want to cultivate your child into a confident person, take two or three minutes to take a closer look at these 18 tips, which may affect your child's life.
01
do not always say no to the child
ask too much of the child, this can not be touched, that can not be done, the child's passion will not say, it will also give the child a psychological hint: I can't do it.
Children who are encouraged to try more are more likely to experience the joy of "success".
02
when children make progress, specific praise
parents' affirmation and praise is the greatest driving force for children's progress.
when praising, emphasize "progress", "efforts", "stick to" and "habits", such as: "Today draws more colors than yesterday, and the colors match up more brightly."
03
when the child fails
do not criticize, but encourage
instead of scolding and scolding, it is better to help the child analyze why and what to do.
Children with parents' support will not be depressed even if they encounter similar setbacks next time, but will have more courage to face them and better able to come up with solutions to problems.
04
Let the child do what he can
do not give the child the opportunity to rely too much, but leave everything within his ability to him. I believe he can do it well. This helps to enhance the child's personal pride.
such as brushing your teeth and washing your face, wearing shoes and clothes, eating and washing dishes, washing small socks, tidying up your toys and desks.
05
take children's questions seriously
100,000 whys are typical characteristics of children.
when he asks a question, he is thinking, parents take it seriously and will give positive feedback to their children.
even if you can't answer on the spot, it's not shameful to tell your child the truth, and then find a way to solve it together, so that the child can learn how to find the answer on his own.
06
solicit the child's opinion
strengthen the child's sense of existence
although the child is young, he also has an independent personality. Asking for the child's opinion will make the child feel full of being in control and have a strong sense of value.
sometimes, the problems you can't figure out are likely to open up in a child's words.
07
ask your child for help
ask your child to do what he can, such as "get mom a glass of water, will you?"
letting a child know that he is needed is the best way to improve his self-confidence.
08
Don't compare a child to other children
is the most likely to hurt a child's self-esteem, even if he is really worse than other children.
each child's foundation is different, compared to hurt the child, but also anxious about themselves, compared to the child's yesterday and today, even a little progress, is worthy of recognition.
09
Don't laugh at children
it's all a process from turning over to crawling, from crawling to walking, from walking to running.
at every stage, the child has something to challenge, so don't laugh at the child when he is still clumsy.
Don't spit out hurtful words like "stupid", "pig brain" and "trash".
10
Don't be too modest
accept praise from others
when others praise your child, don't choose to be too modest or even belittle your child out of politeness or deliberate stimulation.
the child really deserves to be praised, so why can't you accept it with good intentions and give a compliment to other people's children? it's not bad manners, but also doesn't let the child get lost.
11
Don't ask your child to be sensible
Love should be unconditional.
Don't use your own efforts and sufferings to ask your children to be sensible, obedient, and even to achieve the goal of controlling their children.
imprisoned by loveIt is difficult for a child to learn to love himself all his life.
12
within his ability
fulfill his little wish
for example, the child has been in love with a dress for a long time and begs you to buy it, but you know, you can't put it on when you buy it home, and you feel wasted.
but if you buy it, the child's wish will come true.
it's more worthwhile for a child to be wrapped in love than what you think is wasteful.
13
take your children for a walk
recently, you can take your children to play with their peers, let them explore the "skills" of interacting with others in play, and prepare for their future social skills.
far away, you can take children on a trip, let them feel different humanities and scenery, and enrich their horizons.
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14
Dad, don't forget to bring more children
generally speaking, children with more dads are more open-minded.
because, compared with the mother's caution, the father's adventurous spirit can give children a different experience and self-confidence.
15
satisfy the most basic option
what is the most basic option? For example, children want to wear clothes backwards, wear scarves to go out in summer, and wear different shoes.
Let him make his own decisions as much as possible about things that have nothing to do with safety, health and right and wrong.
as long as he is happy and willing, you can even praise him as "cool" and "personality".
when he grows up, he won't want you to let him do it.
16
do not criticize in front of others, tell him alone
as the old saying goes: be irresponsible to others.
to criticize and scold the child in front of many people is to protect the child's self-esteem.
to tell the child in private what he has done wrong and what to do is to teach him right and wrong.
17
refuse negative energy nagging
everyone has bad temper times, but after emotional catharsis, don't nag around.
too much complaining in front of the child will only imperceptibly affect the child with negative emotions.
especially crying in front of the child all the time, it will greatly reduce the child's self-confidence.
18
learn a skill
you can learn less, but you must learn well and have a specialty, so that when you take part in some activities or competitions, you can have the opportunity to show yourself, instead of just admiring others and knowing nothing.
to sum up, these 18 suggestions are nothing more than 12 words:
to be accepted, understood, needed, and respected.
Family is the initial background of a child.
confident children all have a similar growing environment, while unconfident children have their own misfortunes.
May we all have a confident child! May he be happy to be himself!