I'd rather start with your friend than fall in love at first sight.
"to be a close friend is probably always with love."
one.
Xinru Lin finally put on her wedding dress and became a happy bride with a smile. Huo Jianhua sweetens the whole circle of friends with a "wife".
on the wedding invitation, they wrote: ten years of best friends become loved ones.
Ten years of friendship, ten years as a friend, and finally become a lifelong companion.
this reminds me of a lyric written by Huang Weiwen: "to be a close friend is probably always with love", which is a mess in all relationships.
just like Cheng Youqing and Li Daren, they have been with each other as best friends for more than 20 years, knowing their joys and sorrows, ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and sharing each other's most real life. Only then have they become the most intimate and comfortable lovers to get along with each other.
both of them are really high-end versions.
two.
once discussed a question with a good friend: how long is it appropriate to know each other?
I know you may believe in love at first sight or "time is not a problem as long as you like it". But if I ask you, how much do you know about his living habits, what he needs most, what he cares about most, how much can you know?
if you can only understand this information from his mouth, not from personal experience, do you really believe that "love" can break through all obstacles?
in my opinion, "love" based on ignorance is all "feeling".
I prefer to suppress the surging "feelings", start with friends, accumulate "feelings" little by little, and then become your lover.
if you really know you, you will really fall in love with you.
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since ancient times, Yu Wenle has been in the eye of the beholder. When he gets along with unfamiliar members of the opposite sex (or the same sex), all he sees is him with ten levels of beauty and ten filters. I won't lie down in front of friends I just met, nor will I expose my huge appetite in front of unfamiliar friends; I won't go shopping with people I care about, nor will I casually complain about the strange things I meet around me. The biggest disadvantage of
distance is that it can easily blur our edges and corners. When we get close, we will know how inappropriate the two sides are.
three.
I once made a match between two friends I didn't know each other. In my eyes, they were made in heaven, and the facts proved my view. They only met three times and posted a group photo on moments to announce that they were together.
but in less than a month, you can no longer see the trace of each other when you click into the circle of friends of the two people.
when the woman told me about this, she only said, "what makes me sad is not that we broke up, but that we could have been friends for life."
later, I learned through other friends that the man was too strong, and the woman was absolutely an "independent woman", so the two sides always quarreled over some minor issues, and no one was willing to show a little weakness first, even in the middle of a dinner. the woman suddenly put down her chopsticks, said to everyone, "I'm full, you slowly ha" and left. The man was so angry that he couldn't say a word on the spot, and he was trembling.
I wonder if it would be better if they got along in the name of "friends" for a while. Because from the point of view of a friend, what you see is the most real and natural you. Because there is no worry about "will you like it when I do this" and the idea of "I want to go further" is reduced, so what you see is the most natural me in everyday life.
"if you like me directly in front of you without pretending, then I'm the one you like."
four.
feelings always happen suddenly, but feelings accumulate for a long time. We mistakenly think that the emotional foundation can be cultivated after "together", but we do not realize that before "together", all our actions have been used with ten levels of beauty, which looks beautiful and has changed beyond recognition.
I have always thought that Love at first sight is a game of losing points.
first the male god of 100 points, then the boyfriend of 80 points, and finally the average boy of 60 points. Such a relationship is too dangerous to wear out good feelings in a short period of time. Of course, some people can always get along with each other and keep a high score, but by my side, there are more points-reducing former.
so being together should not be the beginning of getting along, but the result of getting along.
five.
there is a lyric that sings "Lucky I'm in love with my best friend" like this in
. If your lover is your best friend, then you must know what Soul mate you want most. If you get along with each other for a long time as a friend, you can only be a lover for a long time.
when you complain about something, he will immediately understand your point and scold with you happily; when you are depressed, he will know whether it is better to leave you alone or take you to eat delicious food; when you feel confused, he will remind you what you want most and don't forget who you are; when you need advice, he knows what advice is best for you without making you angry. The problems that will be faced in love are all chosen in friendship.
Huo Jianhua's wedding vows go like this:
"I feel very lucky to be friends with you."
he knows how well Lin Xinru is, and he can calm down to get along as a friend, knowing that feelings are a rising line and the horizontal axis is time. Ten years may seem like a long time, but if the running-in of ten years can make both sides sure for a lifetime, then I'm sure a lot of people will.
I used to wonder what it would be like to fall in love with my best friend. But when I started thinking about it, I couldn't help laughing.Come out, think it must be a very strange thing, may hold hands will laugh.
but ask yourself, the one who knows me best is my good friend. He knows all my embarrassing stories and all the non-mainstream aspects of adolescence, and he knows all my bad temper and dark side. Isn't it rare?
there is a comment: "Huo Jianhua and Lin Xinru, just like Taiwei Liu and Dr. Jiang in Descendants of the Sun, are talking about a love affair with equal appearance, intellectual match, tacit understanding, and mature values. And such a fit comes from the infiltration and sublimation of ten years of friendship.
so if you like someone, you can try to get in touch with him as a friend first, and become Soul mate of each other in the training of time.
like Lin Xinru and Huo Jianhua, Cheng Youqing and Li Daren, Monica and Chandler.
I was always afraid of what to do if you were taken away by someone else who was not as good as me. Now I'm not afraid, because I want to start with your friend more than my girlfriend. And there is another advantage of doing so, we will understand that we are better suited to be friends or lovers after a long time together.
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