Our girl friendship is so complicated.

text /Tong c

when recording a video the day before yesterday, the eel whale asked me, "have you ever been jealous of someone? how jealous?" I thought for a moment and said, "if I knew that a couple around me had broken up, I would feel very happy."

"is this a sign of jealousy?"

"I don't even have a boyfriend. If you break up, you'll be just like me. Although my friend broke up, I will be a little sad, but sad, but also a little happy, girls are so strange. "

later, I asked a lot of people the same question. Their answer was "stole the Cinderella crystal ball while playing in her room" and "his parents brought him a lot of snacks every week. I began to alienate and even curse him."

I read their answers. I think this is actually an emotion between friends that is very difficult to admit, jealousy. Because I am jealous that my friend is better off than I am, I hope everything goes wrong with him.

I once had a very close roommate in the lower bunk who went home from school together on duty. Half of the boys in the class liked her. Naturally, I, with average grades, took on the task of delivering love letters and snacks.

in my diary of that year, I said, "I really envy her. I accidentally broke a cup. Everyone gathered around to help her with advice." After a long time, I realized that this is not envy, this is jealousy.

because envy is explained in the entry as "loving what one has", it is often accompanied by congratulations.

but I didn't.

at that time, when she was being chased by everyone, it was my most unhappy time. Why did she drop a kettle to get everyone's attention, but I even fell on my knee? no one asked me "does it hurt" when I gasped and "hissed" in the infirmary?

because of this psychological gap, I am unhappy every day with her light.

later, the school's annual party had to choose the host at the age. I still remember that I went with her. The physique teacher stood in front of us and pulled us to the mirror with his hand. "stretch out your chest and let me have a good look."

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in front of the mirror, we are of the same height and physique. One of us is radiant, with a high ponytail standing up, while the other's hair is cocked up because he sleeps askew, his eyes are listless, and there are a few small freckles on his cheeks. The teacher only looked at us, then patted my left shoulder and said, "you can go back to class."

after going back, a classmate asked me, "didn't you and Xiaomin go to the host selection? why did you come back so early? where is she?"

I pretended to be relaxed and said, "she went to the bathroom and let me come back first."

on that day, I don't want to admit that I am worse than her. I hope she will be eliminated.

in the end, she didn't pass and said "what a disappointment" to me dejectedly. I was a little happy to hear her sigh.

but after college, in a chat with a friend, I realized that it was this kind of secret rivalry and tit-for-tat that probably existed in a girl's friendship.

once I watched "my Black skirt" with Jane, in which I was originally with four friendly ABCD girls. After A became a popular artist, their friendship began to change. B always sneers in front of A that she is living a better life than all three, while C blames her mother for not making herself look good so that she can be a celebrity.

when I read it, I asked Jane, a five-year-old friend, "to be honest, have you ever been jealous of me?" She was stupefied for a moment and said hesitantly, "Yes."

"when I came back from the art exam in the third year of senior high school, you, who I hadn't seen for three months, had climbed from the previous medium grade to the top five, while my score was all the way down. At that time, when I finished my report card every month, what I cared about most was not how well I did in the exam, but whether you did badly in the exam.

originally, after high school, I thought this evil idea would disappear, but later when I saw you writing an official account, I thought that with a little luck, you could always be so envied, er, jealous. I will also comfort myself that I can do it in the future, and at the same time I dare not say a word of congratulations to you, though I don't know why. "

then she went on to say, "finally, once you didn't finish your essay and failed in the exam. When you read late, your seat was empty. I know you must have run away alone."

then I found you squatting behind the flag-raising platform on the playground. I didn't know how to comfort you. I walked behind you and sat on the stone bench, wondering if I wanted to disturb you.

you never looked back at me, looking at you who didn't speak, I became unhappy.

so I thought, my wish has finally come true, but you are unhappy, how can I be happy when you are unhappy. That's why I think that the friendship of girls is that they don't like each other, but they are more afraid of each other's bad life. "

I think this is the true friendship of girls. We are seen by others as close to each other, and we are inevitably jealous in private. We are obviously jealous and can clear the ice when each other needs it.

although it was two months ago, I still remember us chatting in bed after watching a movie and hearing each other say, "I was jealous of you at that time." When, laugh very loudly.

because in fact, the so-called hurt each other between girls, but originally hoped that each other can share hardships with themselves, rather than one of us has its own day.