People's Daily publishes the self-check list of unqualified parents' behavior! For the sake of the children

for children, studying hard is the most important responsibility.

for parents, educating good children is not only a lifelong responsibility, but also a success that no career can match.

however, there have been frequent failures in education in recent years.

Children grow up only once, and education cannot be withdrawn and restarted. Parents' influence on their children lasts a lifetime.

as parents, we don't need exams, but we must keep on studying, reflect frequently, and take responsibility for our children's life.

People's Daily has summed up a self-check list of unqualified parents' behavior. Please check it one by one:

1. Give children special treatment

2. Children make mistakes to protect

3 face to face. Pay too much attention to children

4. It is easy to meet unreasonable requirements

5. Allow children to be lazy

6. Beg the child for

7. Arrange to replace

8. Make a fuss

9. Deprive independence

10. The beloved son of his parents who is afraid of crying

is far-reaching.

having control, teaching and punishment is the best love for children.

when a child has a problem, it is often the family education that is the source. Parents must check themselves in time so as not to let your wrong way of education delay the growth of their children.

01

Ten knives of family education

you got several

the first knife: care too much, so that children do not cherish.

many parents are always careful with their children, but their children do not know how to be grateful, and your excessive concern will be taken for granted. Over time, children will not cherish them.

the second knife: nagging too much leads to children's rebellion.

parents criticize their child on the opposite side of every "sermon". If parents arm themselves with authority, children protect themselves with emotion.

the third knife: there is too much intervention, resulting in children's lack of autonomy.

many parents love their children so much that they want to dress, feed and do their homework. If parents keep intervening and do it for them, they will deprive their children of the opportunity to grow up.

fourth knife: expect too much, making it difficult for children to bear.

if parents' expectations and requirements of their children are too high, it will cause great psychological pressure on their children.

once the child is unable to finish, he will blame himself, suffer a heavy blow, and the severe ones will lose confidence.

the fifth knife: blame too much, causing the child to lose motivation.

some parents will only blame their children when they encounter problems, do not find ways to solve them, and do not reflect on themselves, which will make their children feel inferior.

it is said that "parents are the best teachers". The excellence of children is inseparable from their parents' education, and children's problems are also related to their parents.

the sixth knife: indulge too much, causing the child to be unrestrained.

when children grow up, they will have many problems and develop many bad habits. If parents give in and make concessions again and again, they will certainly spoil their children.

Love without rules, without bottom line connivance, will only cause harm to the child.

the seventh knife: care too much, resulting in children blackmailing parents.

many parents take their children too seriously to distinguish between right and wrong. As a result, they humble themselves to the dirt, but their children are ungrateful.

A pair of parents who are all child-centered will lose themselves.

A child-centered family must be unfortunate.

eighth knife: enjoy too much, so that children do not know frugality;

many parents misunderstand the phrase "no matter how hard you can't suffer your child," and give your child the best of everything, which leads to the desperation of the noble son of the rich and the poor, which makes the child selfish and loses the ability of independence and love.

the ninth knife: too much satisfaction leads to children's lack of happiness;

some parents think that trying their best to satisfy their children is the best support for them. The truth is, the easier it is for children to be satisfied, the less they understand the principle of hard work and harvest.

10th knife: spoil too much, so that the child can not grow up.

habitual children are like killing children. It is the nature of parents to dote on their children, but it is their fault to dote on their children.

if you dote on your children too much, they will not know the rules, have no upbringing, and will certainly lose miserably when they enter the society.

02

Ten years later, promising children

all come from these seven families

the first one: families that love learning

if they want their children to love reading, they should first be readers themselves.

Family education needs to create a studious and enterprising atmosphere. Parents often read and study at home, and their children will naturally look like their parents.

second: families with good relationships

parents' love and family harmony are the best gifts we can give to our children.

such children receive more attention and favor from an early age, have more sense of security inside, and have a more confident, friendly and likable personality.

third: families who behave

"Love children" and "make rules" are never a single topic. Children obey rules at home, obey discipline only after entering school, and strictly abide by the law only after they get out of society.

fourth: the three values of the family

parents' values are the three values of a family, which will infect each other and teach their children by deeds and deeds.

A good family must begin with companionship, be stuck in education, and be loyal to the three values.

Fifth: families that attach importance to education

the family is the child's first school, and the parents are the children's first teachers. Only parents come first.Attach importance to education, children will face up to learning, and under the cultivation of parents to develop good habits and harvest good grades.

sixth: positive and optimistic families

psychologists have found that children's positive and optimistic qualities can be cultivated and must be rooted in family education.

parents' positive and optimistic attitude towards life is affecting their children, so that they can face life and study with a smile.

Seventh kind: strict and benevolent families

it is not enough to teach children to rely on love alone, but also to have strict discipline, correct guidance, and appropriate methods.

good children must be carefully educated by their parents, and bear children must be indulged by their parents.

03

the pattern of fathers

determines the height of children

it is often said that a good father is better than 200 good teachers.

No one can match the influence of fathers on their children and the education they give them.

Children who grow up with their father's company and education will be more optimistic, cheerful, confident and self-motivated, and have obvious advantages in all aspects compared with those who lack their father's company from an early age.

when the father is determined, the child learns to be indomitable;

when the father is brave and independent, the child learns to be strong and fearless;  when the father is broad-minded, the child learns to tolerate generously;

when the father distinguishes right from wrong, the child learns to adhere to principles.

the power of example is great.

as educationist Sukhomlinski said:

in a family, the father is the best role model for children and the best educational resource.

every man can be a father, but not every father has the ability to be a good father.

behind a successful child, there must be a successful father, setting an excellent example and setting a lofty pattern for the child.

the pattern of fathers determines the future of children and is the source of strength that children need most in the process of growing up.

04

Mother's mood

determines the fate of her child

Mo Yan said on the podium of the Nobel Prize for Literature that it was the mother who influenced his life:

"my mother taught me what is great love and affection, what is tolerance and understanding, what is compassion and compassion, what is honesty and humiliation,

what is strong and unyielding, what is life and life, and what is study and life. What are dreams and ambitions? "

if the father is at the helm and leader of the family, then the mother is the regulating valve and oxygen machine of a family.

for children, the father is the most trusted person, and the mother is the most dependent person. The biggest sense of security of a child comes from the mother.

when the child is very young, the mother should give full love, let the child feel sense of security, and thus generate trust in others and the world.

British educator Barlow said:

Education begins at the mother's knee, and every word in the ear of a child affects the formation of his character.

the mother is moody, the child is afraid and worried;

the mother complains, the child is depressed;  the mother is gentle and kind, the child is optimistic and warm;

the mother is tolerant and the child is sympathetic.

the mother determines the temperature of a home, but also determines the human temperature of her child imperceptibly.

05

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educating their children

is the most important career in parents' lives

"People's Daily" once pointed out that educating good children is the most important career in parents' lives.

No matter how much money parents earn and how much honor they get, they are not as honorable as educating their children.

parents are lifelong teachers of their children and have a lifelong responsibility for their children.

as the most important imitating object of children, we should give children excellent habits, qualities, personality and attitude, so as to lay a good foundation for their growth.

Family is not only the first classroom for children, but also the classroom for children for a lifetime.

as the place that affects children for the longest time and has the most far-reaching effect, we must attach importance to family education and prepare for the development of children.

Education is a long process of spiritual practice, not only for children, but also for parents to learn and grow.