Relying on others for everything is a disaster.

Ni Ping once said in "Grandma's Quotations":

in this life, people always think that they have something to rely on and hope for, so that their hearts can have a place to rest, and they can go further.

but in fact, everyone is the protagonist in their own world, can not be responsible for your whole life, your beauty, can only rely on their own.

Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone, and don't underestimate your ability to move forward alone.

if you want to change your destiny and achieve real growth, you don't rely on others, but on your own strength.

01

overestimating the relationship will only lead to disappointment

there is a question in Zhihu: how do you view your status in the eyes of others?

the highly praised answer is very heart-stirring:

Yes, the relationship between people is far more fragile than we think.

sometimes you feel indispensable in the other person's world, but the other person doesn't care about you at all.

in the hit drama "ordinary Glory", there is a segment that impressed me.

Wu Yanzhi's boss wants to cooperate with a cultural company, but the other party is unwilling to sign the contract.

after inquiring about Wu Ke's information, I found that the boss of the company was his junior high school classmate and used to be the best friend.

although they have not been in touch for a long time, they used to play together every day and give each other nicknames, and their friendship is very deep.

with this relationship, he believes that he will be able to talk about cooperation.

so he volunteered to take over the project, patting his chest and assuring his boss that he would win it in one day.

however, when he visited his friend's company, he was not only asked to wait for hours to come out to receive him, but also refused to read the contract.

he called to urge his friend to see the contract, but the other party found all kinds of excuses.

finally, he specially invited his friends to dinner, nodded and flattered each other, and poured himself a large bottle of foreign wine, but the other side was still cold and refused to cooperate with him.

at this time, Wu Zhizhi realized that he had overestimated their friendship.

I haven't seen you for so many years, the other party is already the boss of the company, and he is just a department manager, they are no longer good brothers.

as the saying goes, human feelings are like sheets of paper, and the world is like a new chess game.

in the vast expanse of life, most of the passers-by can only accompany us for a while.

after moving from a fork in the road to a different direction, no matter how good a relationship is, it will end quietly.

Wang Xiaobo said:

the change of identity, different circles, and different values will make those who once thought they are irreplaceable drifting away in the vicissitudes of time.

if you expect too much, you will often be disappointed. There is no need to retain those who leave, and there is no need to pursue those who have lost.

the best interpersonal relationships are mutual respect, closeness, affinity, not overestimating the relationship with anyone, nor deliberately pleasing anyone, which is a sign of maturity.

02

if you are useless, no one can be relied on.

writer Li Shanglong once said:

my own ability and accumulation is not reliable, no matter how powerful the background is; the value and resources provided are limited, and even a strong network will be lost.

Wang Shimin, founder of YouCore, once told a story.

when his wife was studying in MBA, a classmate never missed any activities.

he takes an active part in dinners, inter-school competitions, corporate visits and parties, spending at least three or four days a week on social activities.

his wife was very confused, but his classmate said, "aren't you just reading MBA to accumulate contacts?"

over the past three years, many classmates and professors in the school have known him, and he often shows off in class, meeting with brother so-and-so and which professor he has had dinner with.

however, when there is something wrong with his graduation defense, no one is willing to help him.

in the end, he had to study for an extra year in order to get his degree.

on the other hand, Wang Shimin's wife seldom takes part in activities and has been devoting her energy to her studies. Her grades are excellent and have been unanimously recognized by teachers and classmates.

when there was a typographical error in her graduation thesis, several students came to help with it, and she successfully completed her reply.

Li Xiaomo, a self-media writer, was also keen on making contacts.

at that time, she had just started writing and often took her own work to consult big names in the industry.

however, they just replied coldly: "you are not fit to write, you can only write red tape" and "Sorry, we only focus on famous authors".

after hitting a brick wall around, she had to settle down to continue to read and write, and polish her work for excellence.

half a year later, an editor unexpectedly came to her door and wanted to talk to her about her cooperation in publishing books.

in fact, other people's attitude towards you often depends on your strength.

when we are too weak to take, we will not get sincere help from others at all.

try your best to make connections. It's better to keep your feet on the ground and improve yourself. When you are strong, the whole world will make way for you.

03

instead of relying on others, it is better to rely on yourself

Nietzsche said:

if you are not independent, if you listen to others and rely on others everywhere, you have to look at others, be influenced by others, and cannot control your own destiny.

it is better to ask for help than to ask for yourself, onlyOnly by relying on yourself can we live a more confident life.

"dumpling queen" Zang Jianhe came from a poor peasant family and dropped out of school at the age of 15 to work as a nurse in the hospital.

at the age of 22, she married a prominent Thai Chinese doctor.

after marriage, the husband returned home to deal with his father's funeral and did not come back for a year, so she took her two daughters to Thailand to find her husband.

unexpectedly, her husband married another wife in Thailand, and her mother-in-law disliked her for not having a son and humiliated her in every way.

at that time, her mother-in-law told her that if she was willing to swallow her anger, she would have no worries about food and clothing for the rest of her life.

however, with a strong personality, she resolutely chose to leave and went to Hong Kong with her two daughters.

because she doesn't understand the language, she can only do some physical work. She goes to the teahouse to wash dishes and toilets during the day, and works as a nurse in the hospital at night. She sleeps two or three hours a day. Life is very hard.

however, refusing to depend on others and relying on herself for everything makes her more satisfied and down-to-earth.

once, a friend came to visit her and found that her dumplings were particularly delicious. She repeatedly praised: "you can take this dumplings to the street and sell them!"

she takes her friend's jokes seriously and pushes her trolley to Wanchai Wharf every day to sell dumplings.

soon, by virtue of her good craftsmanship, she attracted many customers, got investment, built a factory, and her career was booming.

finally, Wanchai Pier, which she founded, became the number one brand of frozen food in Hong Kong.

in this life, countless passers-by pass by in a hurry, and you are the only one you can rely on forever.

pin your hopes on others, you will not get a real sense of security, your grievances, fragility and helplessness can only be borne by yourself in silence.

Wang Guozhen once said:

opportunity, strive for it by yourself, and control your destiny by yourself; life is your own drawing board, so why should you rely on others for coloring?

only by crossing the dangerous shoals step by step on our own can we get closer and closer to what we want.

all the sufferings we swallow will become nutrients for our growth, and the roads we have traveled will eventually become the scenery leading to happiness.

Attract your audience when in black and white wedding dresses by showing confidence, femininity and elegance. The easy way with the highest high value.

04

after experiencing the warmth and warmth of human feelings, you will find that the most important person will always be yourself.

try your best to strive for what you want; set a good goal and keep going.

the greatest luck to be born is to win everything you want with your own hands and complete the transformation of life.

the hard work that we carry desperately will make us reap a better self; those places covered with bruises will also become our strongest armor.

from now on, you can live into the sun and illuminate the way for the rest of your life without borrowing the light of others.