Silence is one's highest self-cultivation.

an eminent monk said:

"it is better to say nothing about the rights and wrongs of others; it is better to say nothing about hypocrisy;

it is better to say nothing than to say nothing; and it is better to say nothing than not to keep your word."

although it is human nature to speak, it is a kind of self-cultivation to shut up.

A true wise man knows how to speak less and listen more and keep silent at the right time.

01

No explanation is the most reasonable explanation.

A literary friend complained about his experience.

two years ago, tired of his nine-to-five life, he quit his secure job in a state-owned enterprise and went home to work full-time as a new media.

although the process is hard and often stay up late, I am very happy to be able to do what I love and achieve results.

it so happens that several neighbors always talk about him from time to time, saying that he is idle, doesn't do his job, and even loses his iron rice bowl.

at first he also tried to explain to others what freelance is, but after a long time, he simply ignored it.

Wenyou said: "some people only want to live in their own world, since the explanation does not make sense, why say more."

in life, many people have experienced such a situation:

when you make friends with the leader in private at work, some colleagues say that you tend to follow the trend;

Seek for fantastic beautiful wedding dresses and flaunt feminine curves? Enjoy the combination of simplicity and utility.

share photos of traveling abroad in moments. Some people think that you are showing off your wealth in disguise.

quit and go home to start a business, and the neighborhood rumors that you are having a bad time in the big city.

many times, the facts are not what we see right in front of us, but we can't argue.

but if you can't explain it clearly, you might as well keep silent and keep silent.

those who really know you can understand you even if you don't say a word, while those who don't understand you, even if you talk endlessly, are like chickens talking to ducks.

as Li ao said, "sometimes explanations are unnecessary: enemies don't believe your explanations, friends don't need your explanations."

everyone has their own values. The joys and sorrows of the world are not the same. Being misunderstood is the norm, and being understood is the special case.

instead of trying to explain yourself to others, keep silent and let time respond to everything.

02

not arguing is the wisest wisdom

there is a saying in the moral Sutra: "good words are not beautiful, good words are not believed; the good ones do not argue, the debaters are not good."

debating is a means of planning things, and not debating is a kind of wisdom in life.

those who are really wise seldom argue with others.

at a banquet, Carnegie was told a joke in which he was quoted from the Bible.

Carnegie immediately pointed out that the sentence was from one of Shakespeare's works.

who knows that the other party immediately denies it and insists that they are right, so the two hold their own opinions and argue endlessly.

to find out, Carnegie took this question and asked another friend who was proficient in Shakespeare.

the friend agreed with the man's point of view.

on the way back, Carnegie asked his friend why he was partial to the wrong side.

A friend said, "if you argue with him, even if you have the upper hand, the other person will resent for losing face."

think about it, it is true.

on weekdays, we all argue with others because of some trivial things and do not give way to each other.

if you lose, you will inevitably feel resentful and resentful; if you win, it will hurt the other person's self-esteem and lose the hearts of the people.

in many cases, an argument cannot decide the outcome, but both sides lose.

Franklin once said, "if you keep arguing and retorting, maybe you can win occasionally, but it's an empty victory, because then you'll never get the favor of the other person."

the most important thing for people to get along with is to be comfortable with each other.

turn a blind eye to issues that do not involve major issues of right and wrong.

even if you lose the truth, but win the feelings, why not do it?

the best way of life is to look at your own scenery, go your own way, and understand the differences of others.

03

No comment, it is the top goodness

I have seen such a video on Zhihu:

A man changed into a high school student's school uniform in the toilet after work, wore a pink hairpin on his head and smiled at the mirror.

someone came in and said "psychopath", picked up his cell phone and photographed the scene and posted it on the Internet.

the video quickly caused a heated discussion, and the man was recognized on the road, calling him a transvestite and fighting for his eyeballs.

however, the truth is that the man's sister died in a car accident. His mother was so shocked that she forgot everyone and only remembered what her sister looked like at school.

in order to make his mother happy, the man decided to pretend to be his sister and make a video call with his mother every day.

after reading it, I have a deep feeling.

in our daily life, we have been easy to criticize and judge other people's lives because of something we can't understand.

however, behind those bizarre things, it may be the sadness and embarrassment of others.

Han Han once said, "if you don't understand, shut up, because you never know what others have been through." If you understand, then you should shut up. "

everyone has their own life, and there are soft corners in their hearts that they want to protect.

We are not others, and we have no way of knowing the way he has traveled and sufferedThe pain, and the unspeakable pain in the heart.

your inadvertent comment is likely to become a sharp knife in the heart, causing irreparable damage to the other party.

A casual remark may open the scars that others have finally healed and become bloody again.

so never judge a person easily.

it is a kind thing to be born to be a human being if the governor does not speak and the know person does not judge.

04

someone on Zhihu asked, "what is the reason why you are becoming more and more silent?"

one of them replied:

"sometimes you are misunderstood but don't want to argue;

sometimes you are picked on but disdain to fight back;

sometimes, it's not that you don't know, but you just don't want to say it, so you choose to be silent."

in many cases, silence does not mean cowardice and compromise, but magnanimity and calmness under forbearance.

is to penetrate the world and be considerate, to look down on right and wrong without arguing, and to understand life and be calm.

the ancients once said that speech is silver and silence is golden.

when we go through the vicissitudes of the world, we will finally understand: