The best way to live in middle age: don't bear it, don't hate, don't save, don't wait

Su Shi said: life is like a reverse journey, and I am also a pedestrian.

in the long river of time, you and I are all passers-by.

in the twinkling of an eye, half of life is over.

have experienced joy, tasted sadness, harvested satisfactorily, and also had regrets.

lost the youthful drive and enthusiasm, but more mature, some indifferent.

looking back on half of my life, I gradually understand.

the best way for middle-aged people is: don't bear it, don't hate, don't save, don't wait.

01

Don't be angry

A story was told in the Story of the Mountain and the Moon.

Li Zheng, a talented scholar of the Tang Dynasty, won fame at a young age, but he had a high personality and was not interested in the welcome to and from officialdom.

it wasn't long before he resigned and went back to his hometown, enjoying the idyllic wine.

but because I don't have enough income to support my family, I have no choice but to return to officialdom and bend over for five buckets of rice.

the colleague he used to despise is already in a high position, but he has become his subordinate.

Li Zheng is angry, but he has no way to vent and suffers in pain every day.

finally one day, he went crazy, broke into the mountains and turned into a tiger.

the author says: everyone in the world is an animal trainer, and that beast is everyone's own temperament.

learn to control emotions and dispel emotions so as not to be swallowed by emotions.

not long ago, I saw a news that Ms. Liu, a Shanghai resident, chose to jump into the river when she was at home to help her son with his homework because of a conflict between her study and her son.

fortunately, the clothes were thick in winter and did not sink immediately, so they were rescued by the people who came.

when people reach middle age, the education of their children, the health of their parents, and the assessment of the unit.

all kinds of troubles are intertwined and all kinds of sulks accumulate.

it is a required course for everyone to learn to vent and dispel emotions.

We are not saints, it is difficult to achieve "eight winds do not move".

as long as you are still in this strange world, you will not be able to live a smooth life.

those sulks, those indignation, those sorrows, can be vented in their own way.

Mountain climbing, listening to music and talking are all good ways.

only in this way can we dry our tears and move on light.

02

remember not to hate

psychologist Cui Yongfu once said: after a conflict with others, if you always hold a grudge against others, you will form an emotional sticking point in your heart.

this card will affect the quality of life.

in the days to come, each trigger will bring bad mood and make people unable to extricate themselves.

so the ancients said: to forgive others is to forgive yourself.

to forgive others is to let yourself go.

King Meng Changjun of the warring States was expelled by the King of Qi. Because of losing power, all his good friends were out of touch with him.

King Meng Chang hated these people so much that he took a plank and engraved their names on it, intending to settle accounts later.

later, he regained his power and was recalled to Qi.

on the border of Qi, Mr. Meng Chang met Tan Shizi, a native of Qi. Tan Shizi said, "it is normal for those who are rich to be close to others, and those who are poor and humble to stay away from others." It's like there are more people in the morning and fewer people in the evening in the bazaar. People just act according to their needs. "

after hearing this, Mr. Meng Chang crossed out all the words on the board.

after returning to China, Mr. Meng Chang did not retaliate and chose to forgive.

not only has he won a peace of mind, but also has established a reputation and consolidated his position.

as the ancients said: if a man is not Yao and Shun, who can be good?

anyone can make mistakes. We are all just ordinary people in the world.

there is no need to ask others according to the standards of saints, it is others who let go, and it is themselves who are relaxed.

I have a friend who used to work in radio.

his boss makes things difficult for him and always assigns tasks for various reasons, which makes his friends miserable.

who ever wanted to reform the radio station later, the column of a friend rose suddenly and soon became the focus of the radio station.

but he never thought of revenge.

when he was asked about the feud of the past year, he just said, "forget it."

when people reach middle age, people tend to become more and more tolerant. It's not that the problem is really solved, but forget it.

I don't have the energy to distinguish right from wrong, and I'm not in the mood to pull the past.

spend your time with yourself and your family.

spend on those beautiful things.

only in this way can we have a good time and be at ease.

03

Don't save money

A long time ago, there was a man working as a coolie in Bologna.

it's hard to make money, and he's very frugal.

the money he earns every year is converted into gold and put in the clay pot at home.

as there is more and more gold, so does his happiness.

until one day, the clay pot was full, but he himself fell ill.

looking at this jar of gold, he was really reluctant to take it to the doctor to buy medicine and died with the gold.

as the sketch says, "the greatest pain in life is not that people are alive and money is gone, but that people die and money is not spent."

money is nothing but something outside the body. If you don't bring it with you, you won't take it with you.

being too frugal with money, it is easy to become a slave to money.

there is a couple in Chongqing who both like to save money.

I am reluctant to change my clothes and shoes that I have worn for more than ten years, and I never eat out with friends.

skin care products are never willing to buy expensive.Yes, you can usually take the bus and never drive.

the two can save more than half of their annual salary.

but the quality of life makes them feel boring.

dusty face, every day feels like an ordeal.

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at the age of less than forty, he looks like an old man of sixty.

when people reach middle age, they should learn to cherish the present and enjoy the present.

Don't always be reluctant to eat, dress and use.

when you get older, these pleasures will go away from you.

money is only a number in the account, and it is only valuable when it is spent.

money is not the goal, life is the goal.

Don't save money if you have money, be kind to yourself and spend money on yourself, so that your life will be colorful and interesting.

04

Love others

Tang Bohu's story of ordering Qiu Xiang is well-known, and the suave image is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.

but in history, Tang Bohu was down and out, leaving a lifetime of regret.

before the age of 24, Tang Bohu had a rich family, parents were alive, and husband and wife were in love.

but in a short period of more than a year, parents, wives and children died one after another.

he endured his grief and finished his family's funeral, and then came the news of his sister's suicide.

the love of Tang Bohu's life, he left him one after another, leaving him adrift in the world.

the love between husband and wife has become an extravagant hope in the twinkling of an eye.

the ancients said: there are unexpected events in heaven and misfortunes and good fortune in every day.

Life is impermanent, and you never know which comes first, tomorrow or accident.

there is a topic on Zhihu: how fragile is life?

one of the netizens told his story:

on an ordinary evening, he was watching TV at home with his children while her husband was on his way from work.

suddenly a phone call came in. It was my husband's cell phone number, which he said belonged to the traffic police brigade.

she hurriedly wrapped the child in a quilt and sent her to her neighbor's house, and then went to the traffic police brigade herself.

my husband, who was fine in the morning, is already lying in the cold cupboard.