There are three people who don't help, and there are three people who don't pay.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
in dealing with people, everyone wants to be liked and recognized. But in fact, in addition to the need for wisdom and open-mindedness to interact with people, it is more important to have a proper grasp of discretion.
those people who are really popular have done it. There are three people who don't help, and people who don't pay.
01
No matter how kind it is, don't help these three favors.
see the sentence: "No one can live into an island, the more friends, the more fetters."
between friends, it is nothing more than you help me, I help you, the deeper the relationship between each other.
but no matter how kind you are, you must not help.
1. Don't rashly help Song Yunhui of "Great Rivers and Rivers" if you are out of your ability. He is upright and kind.
when his friend Xun Jianxiang was designed to be jailed, he went around looking for help to prove his friend's innocence.
when his brother-in-law ran into business difficulties, he spared no effort to ask a friend to take care of him.
but when his father-in-law was ill, he threatened him with past kindness and asked him to arrange a shopping position for his brother-in-law, but he firmly refused.
he knows very well that not all problems can help.
as he said to Yang Xuan in the play:
those who are busy beyond their ability, no matter how good the relationship is, don't agree easily.
beating a swollen face and filling up a fat person is not heroic, but overexert.
trying to do more than you can do is just embarrassing yourself.
in the end, it seems that he has helped others, but his own future may be over.
Friends are important, but you should also act according to your ability and distinguish between what you can do and what you can't.
it is an act of kindness to help others within their own ability. As for those things that I can't help, I'm sorry I can't help you.
2. Endless help, don't help easily
there should be such people around you. They are gentle, kind, do not know how to refuse others, and respond to almost every request for help.
I know a colleague who is such a good old man.
usually someone asks her to help with the work, print materials, and help on duty. Whether it is big or small, she responds to it one by one.
although she is sometimes reluctant, she tries her best to accomplish everything in the spirit of having a good relationship with others.
but what happens in the end? Others have made progress, promoted and raised, but she has become busier and busier, but her personal ability has not improved at all, and she is at risk of being eliminated. In life, we will inevitably subconsciously want to please others, as long as things are not too excessive, we generally will not refuse.
but I would like to advise you not to be a bad person.
if you are too easy to talk, some people will be addicted to it endlessly, one after another.
if you devote too much energy to other people's trivial affairs, you will not only drag down your own progress, but also follow others and ignore your own interests. In the end, you can only regret it.
A good man is rewarded, but a good man can only suffer.
Don't indulge others blindly. Learn to refuse to be busy by an inch in order to get your little life back on track.
3. Don't rush to help when it comes to pecuniary interests
Last year, a "woman knelt down on the street and begged debtors to pay back money" made countless people angry.
when her best friend is in trouble, she does not hesitate to lend 600000 of her whole family fortune to her best friend. Because she has a good relationship, she does not ask her best friend to make an affidavit.
but unexpectedly, after her best friend got the money, she became a scoundrel, moved and disappeared without a trace.
two people ran into each other in the street, but her best friend immediately turned around and left, refusing to admit that she was in debt.
when the woman was in a hurry, she could only get down on her knees and grab her hand and cry:
"I lent you 600000, you give me back 500000, and I won't say anything."... "
I have heard such a saying:
the so-called human nature and friendship, in terms of pecuniary interests, is but a window of paper and is simply vulnerable to a single blow.
therefore, some people say that when it comes to money exchanges, do not help unless you have to.
We have seen too many stories about the Farmer and the Serpent. Kindness given to the wrong person will only make us regret for the rest of our lives.
you and I are both mortal, and no one is anyone's savior. Don't make yourself miserable because you can't lose face.
02
No matter how kind it is, you can't make these three kinds of friends
Zeng Guofan said:
the more friends you have, the better. Sometimes meeting inappropriate friends will not only lower your quality of life, but also bring trouble to yourself.
No matter how kind you are, you should stay away from these kinds of people in time.
1. Do not make friends with those who are ugly.
in life, there is always no shortage of people who are ugly.
when you see that others have made some achievements, they say behind their backs that people rely on relationships.
when others earn more than themselves, they say that they are not coming from the right way.
when others are young and beautiful, cynicism must be plastic surgery.
even Wu Jing has not escaped such a fate.
his "Wolf Warriors" cast fell off the altar after it grossed $3 billion at the box office.
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some people say that he
"earning Chinese money under the banner of patriotism actually became an American citizen a long time ago."
he had to reveal the nationality of his family and prove himself.
after the Jiuzhaigou earthquake, countless people flocked to his social platform, forcing him to donate money:
"with such a high box office, how much money are you going to give to the disaster area?"
but when Keyboard Man can only occupy the moral supreme point and enjoy false pleasure, Wu Jing hit countless people in the face with his own actions.
in "you from the Stars", there is a line aptly described:
they can't live their lives well, so they don't like others.
such people are not only poor in body, but even poorer in heart.
if there is such a person around you, be sure to stay away.
2. People who keep consuming you can't make friends
Zhihu has a netizen who tells about his experience.
her friendship with her friends for more than ten years has finally been broken.
friends always regard her as an emotional trash can, and they receive messages from her complaining every day from morning till night during class and when going out to play.
at first, she would patiently enlighten her friends and advise her to think differently.
but it is of no use at all. In order to digest their own negative energy, the other party outputs all of them to her, and their lives begin to be affected.
during that time, there was only pain between her and that friend.
she wanted to slowly move away from the relationship, but her friends blamed her and betrayed her trust.
from that moment on, she knew that the relationship should be broken.
in fact, people feel annoyed because the emotions between people are contagious.
being with someone who constantly consumes you will only make you physically and mentally exhausted and feel that your life is bleak.
so for those who keep consuming you, it's wise to stop the loss in time.
chat more and be friends with positive people in order to make the rest of your life happy.
3. People who are too idle are not worth making
friends have recently encountered an annoyance and have been thinking about whether they should resign.
she said: in fact, the work is very stable and free, but if it is bad, it is too idle, and it will be a big problem.
other people in the company do nothing all day, gossiping about other people's income, relationship status, and judging other people's words and deeds.
friends have always disliked small groups, so they seem a little loner, isolated by everyone, and become the object of their talk.
because when people are too idle, there will be two kinds of psychology: either find trouble for themselves or find trouble for others.
the former is easy to say, but it's not too bad to meet the latter.
the worst thing about idle people is not leisure, but spiritual emptiness and boredom.
they don't think, they don't grow up, they can only find a little interest in life by gossiping and gossiping.
if you stay with such a person for a long time, you will unconsciously be led astray, and gradually become the appearance you hate most.
Life always has to work hard in order to have a broader stage, and those who are too idle, no matter how good the relationship, should stay away.
in this life, we may not be able to predict what will happen to us and who we will meet.
but we can decide what to refuse and who to stay away from.
Life is really limited. Don't waste your time and energy on these meaningless things.