These two words will always hurt people the most! You mustn't say it

it is always these two words that hurt people the most: language.

there is a young man in a village. the young man is extremely excellent, but he has a fatal flaw: he often speaks ill of others.

his parents and friends always advised him, and he always said, "what's the big deal? it's just a few words. What's all the fuss about?" And then went his own way.

once a Zen master came to the village. the young man said something very disrespectful to the Zen master. When others criticized the young man, the young man said plausibly, "it's just a few words. Can't I just apologize to him?"

the Zen master smiled and said to the young man, "Let me tell you a story." Many people, including this young man, gathered around the Zen master, ready to listen to the Zen master tell stories. The Zen master paused and began to tell the story:

there is a man who keeps a bear picked up in the mountains from an early age. He has always kept the bear, but one day the bear spoiled a piece of corn in the neighbor's house, and the neighbor came to the door.

he was so angry that he hit the bear with a stick and scolded: the animal is always an animal. I raised you for nothing. After the fight, he drove the bear out of the house.

the next day, he regretted it again, but the bear had already walked into the back mountain.

he regretted it, but he couldn't find any more bears. When he was hunting in the mountain, he came across a tiger. Unarmed, he closed his eyes.

suddenly he heard the sound of a struggle. He opened his eyes and saw that the bear had come back. The bear drove the tiger away, and he happily went up and caressed the bear and said, "Great, did it hurt last time I hit you?" Come back with me! "

the bear said, "it doesn't hurt anymore, but what you said still hurts me, and it hurts a lot." The bear went back to the back mountain without looking back.

when the story of the Zen master is over, everyone is lamenting that what he has said can hurt so much, but this young man is disdainful. The Zen master took a few nails out of his pocket and said to the young man, "go and hammer these nails into the tree." The young man did what the Zen master said and hammered the nail into the tree.

as soon as the young man returned, the Zen master said, "go and take the nail off." The young man said nothing and went back under the tree to take the nail off. But the young man worked hard for a long time and took a long time with various tools to remove a nail.

the Zen master came to the young man, pointed to the mark left by the nail and said, "if you pull it out, what can you do?" Isn't there a deep scar on the trunk?

just like the bear in that story, although the pain left by the stick has long gone, the harm that that person said to him is unforgettable for a lifetime. "

the Zen master looked at the young man again and then said, "if you do harm to others, it is like a nail. Although you can get it back, the injury you leave to others is like the scar left by a nail on a tree."

when the young man heard this, he suddenly realized, "now I finally understand how much harm rude words can do to others. Thank you for your advice." The Zen master nodded and said yes, then floated away.

the deepest harm to others in the world is always language. When we say rude words to others, we drive nails into other people's hearts, and such damage can never be remedied.

remember: speaking is an ability; not speaking, is a kind of wisdom.

in an emergency, speak slowly

when you encounter an emergency, if you can settle down and think about it, and then explain things clearly, it will leave the listener with a steady and unimpulsive impression, thus increasing other people's trust in you.

small things, say

humorously

especially some kind reminders, tell them in jokes, will not make the listeners feel stiff, they will not only gladly accept your reminders, but also enhance their sense of intimacy with each other.

if you are not sure, be careful to say

to those things you are not sure about, if you do not say it, others will think you are hypocritical; if you can say it rigorously, it will make people feel that you are a trustworthy person.

Don't talk nonsense about things that haven't happened

people hate people who do nothing. If you never speculate casually or talk nonsense, it will give people the impression that you are mature and cultured. You are a serious and responsible person.

Don't talk nonsense about what you can't do

as the saying goes, "Don't do porcelain without a diamond." If you don't promise what you can't do easily, it will make the listener feel that you are a person who is "true to his word and true to his deeds" and is willing to believe you.

when it comes to hurting people, you can't say

it's not easy to hurt others with words, especially among those who are close to you, don't say hurtful words. This will make them think that you are a kind person and help to maintain and improve the relationship.

when you are sad, don't say to everyone that

people have the desire to talk when they are sad, but if you talk to others, it is easy to make the listener feel too much psychological pressure, doubt and alienate you.

at the same time, you also give the impression that you are not considerate of others and want to pass on the pain to others.

about other people's affairs, be careful to say

We all need a safe distance between people. If we don't comment and spread other people's affairs easily, we will give people sense of security to communicate with each other.

about your own affairs, listen to what others say

listen to the opinions of outsiders. On the one hand, it will give people the impression of modesty; on the other hand, it will give people the impression that you are a reasonable person.

listen more and talk less about elders

Older people often don't like young people to comment too much on their own affairs. If young people talk too much, they will think that you are not a respectful, modest and studious person.

about husband and wife, discuss and say

between husband and wife, what they fear most is to blame each other when they encounter things, and discussing each other will have the effect of "empathy" and can enhance the feelings of husband and wife.

about children

punk prom dresses make you look glamorous and magnificent. Worry free the minute you buy.

especially adolescent children, they are very rebellious and adopt a gentle and firm attitude to enlighten them, which can make them like you and be willing to be friends with you. It can also play a persuasive role.

when the water is deep, it slows down, but if you speak late, you will be expensive. It takes us two years to learn to speak, but it takes decades to learn to shut up.

Watch your mouth and don't say these words:

Don't judge other people's good or bad, because they don't affect your eating.

Don't judge the virtues of others, because you can't be nobler than him.

Don't judge other people's families, because it has nothing to do with you.

Don't judge other people's learning, because learning is the most important thing in the world.

Don't judge anyone, even the one you despise most.

Don't hurt others, cause and effect will come sooner or later.

Don't lose your temper at will. No one owes you. It's very painful now, and when you look back after a while, you'll find that it doesn't matter.

We often complain that life is unfair to us, but life has no idea who we are.

Don't discuss whose spiritual practice is good or bad. Spiritual practice lies in the individual, and others are your mirror. Reflect your own shortcomings and cultivate yourself in your shortcomings.