Top-notch upbringing (good in depth)

there is a saying in the Analects of Confucius: "the superior man is knowledgeable in literature and makes an appointment with propriety."

in dealing with the world, we should not only improve our cultural knowledge, but also know etiquette and breeding.

in interpersonal communication, we are all willing to work with educated people, and it makes people feel particularly happy and comfortable to deal with them.

on the contrary, getting along with uneducated people can make people feel tormented.

so what is upbringing?

with regard to education, a writer summed up it very comprehensively: education is self-consciousness without reminding, kindness for the sake of others, and self-cultivation rooted in the heart.

01

upbringing is self-conscious without reminding.

there is a saying in the Doctrine of the mean: "the gentleman is careful to be alone".

A person's upbringing is not for others.

truly educated people can restrain themselves anytime, anywhere, even when no one is looking.

in the Eastern Han Dynasty, an official named Yang Zhen recommended Wang Mi when he recommended talents to the imperial court in Jingzhou.

the court accepted Yang Zhen's recommendation, and Wang Mi was very grateful to Yang Zhen.

one night, Wang Mi paid a private visit to Yang Zhen while no one was looking, and insisted on giving 10 taels of gold as a token of gratitude.

Yang Zhen looked sullen and reprimanded, "I recommend you because of your talent, not for any other reason." How can I take gold from you and do something immoral? "

Wang Mi was so ashamed that he sincerely admired Yang Zhen.

he hurriedly got up to apologize, put away his gold and left.

Yang Zhen's lofty accomplishment, which understands self-restraint and is not moved by money, has been respected by later generations and has left a reputation as an honest official through the ages.

in life, we are always full of all kinds of temptations.

educated people know how to restrain themselves. They know what to do and what not to do.

educated people don't talk loudly in public, know to wait in line when waiting for a bus, take the initiative to avoid when others type in their passwords, and return money in time when they owe others money.

in interpersonal communication, we all want to be treated with courtesy.

be an educated person, always remind yourself that you should exercise self-restraint anytime and anywhere in order to gain the respect of others and win a good popularity in the process of interacting with others!

02

upbringing is kind-hearted for the sake of others

Cai Gentan tells us: "educated people don't blame others for their mistakes, don't be private, and don't think about the old and evil."

between speaking and doing, educated people will have a balance in their own hearts, know how to take care of other people's emotions, treat others with respect and kindness.

kind-hearted people can see the difficulties of others and think of others.

I have heard such a story:

Master Zhu is a barber craftsman who has never made a mistake for Premier Zhou for more than 20 years.

but once when Master Zhu was shaving for Premier Zhou, Premier Zhou coughed, and Master Zhu was distracted, causing Premier Zhou's face to be accidentally scratched.

Master Zhu blames himself for his mistakes in his work.

on the contrary, Premier Zhou comforted him and said, "I can't blame you. Who told me not to say hello to you when I coughed?"

Premier Zhu's relieved words deeply moved Master Zhu.

this is a daily trifle, but it reflects Premier Zhou's high self-cultivation.

he is not arrogant and insolent because of his high position, but puts himself in the shoes of others and helps others out with kindness.

as the saying goes: trifles see character, details see upbringing.

in interpersonal communication, kindness is a small thing, perhaps not vigorous, but enough to make people feel considerate and warm.

for example, Dong Qing, a famous host of CCTV, when she was doing the program,

facing the old man in a wheelchair, in order not to let the old man look up at him, he would kneel on his knees and communicate with the old man in a gentle manner.

Dong Qing's details show her noble upbringing.

We often say that kindness is not inborn, it is the softest upbringing in human nature, and it is an acquired choice.

be an educated person. When you treat the world gently, you will find that life is beautiful everywhere.

03

cultivation is rooted in the heart

Mencius has a saying: "those who love others will always love them; those who respect others will always respect them."

respecting others is a noble virtue, an external manifestation of one's internal self-cultivation, and a necessary quality to be a person.

A foreign minister named Lin Xiangru in the State of Zhao during the warring States period.

in the diplomatic struggle of "returning to Zhao in a complete way," Lin Xiangru defended the dignity of Zhao, became famous at the moment, and was very popular among the common people.

Zhao Guoming heard that Lin Xiangru had a higher status than himself. He was so unconvinced that he wanted to humiliate him to his face.

after hearing this, Lin Xiangru deliberately avoided Lianpo every time she went to court.

Lian Po is very complacent about Lin Xiangru's performance and thinks that Lin Xiangru is inferior to himself.

on one occasion, Lin Xiangru saw Lian Po's chariots and horses coming from a distance and hurriedly told the coachman to bypass the path.

Lin Xiangru's men feel aggrieved for Lin Xiangru and think that he is too groveling.

Lin Xiangru explained with a smile: "General Lian is a general and speaks bluntly, and he is a veteran of the State of Zhao. He has made a lot of contributions to the country, and I should be courteous and honest. In addition, General Lian and I helped King Zhao in charge of civil and military affairs. If the two tigers compete with each other, the State of Qin will take advantage of it. "

after

, Lian Po felt very guilty after hearing this, so he was negative.Jing apologized and sincerely asked Lin Xiangru to forgive her previous behavior.

it is precisely because of Lin Xiangru's tolerant understanding and honest introspection that the two have eliminated the estrangement.

Lian Lin and Lian Lin United to defend the State of Zhao, making the powerful State of Qin even more afraid to invade the State of Zhao.

as the saying goes: the person who sends flowers is surrounded by flowers.

people yearn for the respect of others in their hearts. If you want to get the respect of others, you must first know how to respect others.

people who respect others, they tend to be gentle, do things properly, behave politely, put themselves in the shoes of others, and make the people they associate with feel warm.

truly educated people, after offending others, know how to reflect on themselves in time, sincerely apologize to each other and adjust their behavior in time.

respect for others is not only a virtue, but also a noble realm.

be an educated person, be good at appreciating and accepting others, respect others is to respect yourself!

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the Master said, "if a man is rude, he will not be born; if he does something rude, he will not be born."

A man with good upbringing will be the greatest wealth of his life.

A well-bred person must be popular with others.

be an educated person, always thinking about your own mistakes, regardless of others, kind-hearted and tolerant.

May you be educated, self-disciplined, respect for others, and be a warm-hearted person like a spring breeze.