Wear (good depth)

in A Dream of Red Mansions, there is a saying: "the world is enlightened and learned, and human skill is an article."

in this world, there are many words that need not be said. Many things, do not need to wear, many people, do not need to expose.

there seems to be a layer of paper between them, but in fact, the final outcome is different between piercing and not piercing.

01

there are some words you don't need to say.  avoid embarrassment

in life, you will find that some words are superfluous.

sometimes, what is more important than what you say is that you can respect others from the bottom of your heart and care about their feelings, rather than making fun of them.

in the 22nd chapter of A Dream of Red Mansions, Mother Jia celebrated Baochai's 15th birthday.

at that time, a group of entertainers were invited to entertain them. after the play broke up in the evening, Mother Jia liked the two children who acted as clowns and clowns, not only for flesh snacks, but also for two strings of money.

so Sister Feng deliberately asked everyone that the child looked like a person. You can't see it anymore. At that time, Baochai knew that she would not talk about it.

Baoyu guessed it and refused to say it, but Shi Xiangyun went on to say something that looked like Sister Lin.

at that time, Baoyu gave Xiangyun a wink, so Xiangyun angrily wanted to pack up his clothes and leave the Jia mansion. Baoyu came over and explained painstakingly, "

good sister, you missed me. Sister Lin is a paranoid person. Others knew clearly and didn't say it, all for fear of her. Who knows you didn't take precautions and said it?"

I was afraid that you had offended her, so I winked. You are angry with me now, and you have not only failed me, but also wronged me. If someone else, even if he offends ten people, what does it have to do with me? "

but after hearing this, Shi Xiangyun not only didn't appreciate it, but instead said, "Don't coax me with your sweet words. When others talk about her, she makes fun of her.

it's just that I don't deserve to talk about him. She is the master of the lady, and I am a slave girl, and I have offended her. "

when Baoyu saw her messing around so much, she went to Lady Jia's room angrily.

maybe Shi Xiangyun thinks it's just an insignificant joke, but she forgets that sentimental Lin Daiyu doesn't like such jokes.

there is an old saying: "illness comes from the mouth, and evil comes out from the mouth."

sometimes your outspokenness can only make people feel embarrassed.

sometimes, your mouth is outspoken and it just makes people feel embarrassed.

everyone has different temperament.

not everyone likes your outspokenness, and not everyone tolerates your outspoken speech.

find a sense of proportion to speak, what you shouldn't say, what you don't have to say, don't say, you can avoid embarrassing each other.

02

there are some things that need not be done explicitly  leave room

there is such a story.

Yuan Jiaofan, author of the four trainings of Fan, has a good uncle, Shen Xinsong.

once he took some servants to the banquet. as a result, he was not drunk, and the servants were all drunk, so he sent the servants home one by one.

the next morning, he deliberately got up late. His wife asked him, "Why are you up so late today?" He explained: "because the servants were all drunk last night,

drunken people must come to the house late the next day and not have a clear head. If I go out early, they will be embarrassed to see me.

so when they all come, I will go out pretending to have just got up. The servants will not be embarrassed when they see it. They will feel that their master, like me, was drunk yesterday, and there will be no pressure. "

there is a saying in the Book of morality: "there is no trace of good deeds."

in life, there is a kind of true kindness, which is often not noisy and unpublicized, and it is this kind of kindness that gives others the best care.

there is another story.

A senior monk was invited to a vegetarian banquet. During the dinner, he found that among the exquisite vegetarian dishes, there was a piece of pork in a dish.

the disciple of the eminent monk deliberately turned out the meat with chopsticks, intending to let the master see it. Unexpectedly, the eminent monk immediately covered up the meat with his own chopsticks.

after a while, the apprentice turned out the pork again, the eminent monk covered the meat again, and the eminent monk bid farewell to his host after the banquet.

on the way home, the disciple asked, "Master, the cook knew very well that we didn't eat meat, so why did he put pork in vegetarian dishes?" The apprentice just wants to let the master know and punish him. "

the eminent monk said, "everyone makes mistakes, whether intentionally or unintentionally." If the host sees the pork in the dish,

in a rage, he is likely to punish the cook in public or even fire the cook, which is not what I would like to see. "

there is a common saying: "forgive others and forgive others."

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there are some mistakes. If you can understand, there is no need to ask questions and drive the other party to a dead end.

if there are some things that can be tolerated, there is no need to make a big fight to force the other party into a desperate situation.

it is a person's greatest kindness to learn to leave room for others.

03

some people do not have to expose

to avoid disasters

once wrote: "hate a person, do not fall out." Be polite on the surface, pay attention in your heart, and smile when you meet. "

there are all kinds of people in this world.

there are some people you don't like, but you don't have to expose them. There are some people you don't agree with, but you don't have to object. Some people, you don't like it, and you don't have to offend it.

there is a general in Datang named Guo Ziyi..

he was an honest and honest official, and he was very popular in the imperial court.

it is said that on one occasion, a small official named Lu Qi came to visit, and Guo Ziyi had already resigned from his official to provide for the aged at home. When Guo Ziyi received the post from Lu Qi, she was watching GE Ji dance in the back garden, surrounded by singing girls and maidservants, very happy.

as soon as Guo Ziyi saw that Lu Qi was coming, she immediately ordered all the singers, their relatives and slaves to leave and avoid, leaving only one housekeeper to serve.

after Lu Qi left the house, the family members were puzzled and asked, "Sir, why are you so cautious when you see an unknown official today? we all avoid it."

Guo Ziyi replied with a smile, "you don't know, Lu Qi is a very talented person, but he is narrow-minded and vindictive.

he has another characteristic, that is, the right side of his face is blue and very ugly. Lu Qi's biggest taboo is that others laugh at his face. "

the family members are confused.

Guo Ziyi continued: "if you are allowed to participate today, in case one of you laughs when he sees his face, he will bear a grudge. In the future, once he succeeds, none of our family will live."

A few years later, Lu Qi used his talents to add bribes and eliminate dissidents, and sure enough, he became prime minister.

all those who had laughed at him or despised him or offended him in the past were chopped all over the door. Only Guo Ziyi was safe and sound.

he thought that Guo Ziyi was very respectful to him, and he was grateful to Guo Ziyi.

there is a saying: "the human heart is unfathomable, and the sea water is difficult to measure."

in some unimportant places, it is not necessary to expose a person's evil and bad. To see through or not to expose is wisdom, and to see through is open-minded.

sometimes save face to others, in fact, it is to avoid disasters and disasters for yourself.

04

in fact, there are a lot of things in a person's life. "

words that are too clear will embarrass each other.

if you do too much, you will cut your way short.

people who see too clearly will put themselves in danger.

as long as you have a clear mind and live a little muddle-headed, you can get along more amicably with the world.